[If you are walking by the park you might find a secluded area where a man is sitting in the shade and playing the accoridan. This man would be Lemony. The music sounds something like this but he isn't singing. Just sitting there and playing away]
[If you've wondered where Lemony has been during this entire event, he's been at home in his room. Writing on the type writer he recieved. For some reason he was compelled to sit down and write a few pages every time he sees it. Since then he has a great many pages written....unfortunately when the event ends and he looks back to find what he has written.....pages upon pages, all singing the praises of one Count Olaf.
His hands shake as he stares at some of the pages..and then throws them away in disgust. Not realizing that he's knocked the phone off it's hook; he rants]
-here! Even here you taunt me!
I can see you laughing through the pages Count. Laughing at all this...at me.
Why do you torment me, even here!
[There is a wretched sob and the sound of paper tearing and a thump as Lemony slumps to the floor, his head in his hands. Piece of paper surrounding him. He was going to have to destroy them all.
There is few moment of quiet crying before he realizes that the phone is off the hook and hurredly replaces it so he may go back and weap in his solitude.]
No. Not again.
I refuse to believe this.
This is all a dream. A horrifying, appalling, ghastly dream.
Any moment I will be woken up by water dripping on my face, or sirens, or any noise that would indicate a better situation then the one I am in now!
[After a few moments he realizes that this isn’t working]
[Makes his way to the phone sadly. He'd been so close to seeing her...so close...he blinked away a few tears as he picked up the phone.]
Hello, my name is Lemony Snicket and it appears I’ve been kidnapped again. If anyone is aware of how long I have been gone for, it would be most appreciated.
[There’s a pause and he tries to think of who he meet here]
Sophie, Allan, Daine? Are any of you still here?
Hello...hello? There's....something....something terribly dreadful seems to have happend.
Oh dear lord, A body is hanging from my porch....light. A body...
[There's a pause as he draws a shaky breath]
I...I just thought I should let people know...
[Yes he is emotionally rattled and yes he may be crying and yes he really hates this place]
[EDIT: The body in question belongs to Alphonse Elric. Lemony has never meet the young man so he has no idea if it's a drone or not...what with him being dead.]
I know it is most unlikely but would anyone know a store that might sell a Menorah?
For those who are unaware, a menorah is a nine branched candelabrum that holds special significance to those of the Jewish religion.
I suppose that is all for the best. Though the fact that we seem to have no fire department could be cause for concern. In normal circumstances I would most likely sugest forming a volunteer ...department of some type. However I doubt very much that would be successful here.
[There is a deep sigh, after he believes he's put the phone away]
Why did it have to be fire?...
It has recently been brought to my attention that I have been neglecting my duties at the library. This has more to do with the fact that I was not aware I had a job at all than a desire to get myself fired.
The library in this town can only be described as dismal. A word here which means, seemingly lacking in any material that would be useful to anyone. However if you need any help in attempting to find some relevant information, I would be glad to aid you with your searches.
Though I can not promise we will find anything.
After a few hours exploring the strange house, his ankle, everything he could find and talking to a few people in the house, he picked up the phone.]
It appears I am being held against my will in a strange house with strange people who seem to have even stranger taste in decorating. Not only that, I appear to have been the victim of various unwilling medical procedures that I am quite certain I did not approve of. If anyone has any advice on who is keeping me here I would be most appreciative.
[His voice goes quieter, almost murmuring to himself]
I’m afraid my research will need to be put on hold. And as for finding....
[Realizes he is still holding the phone]
Oh yes...I’m sorry,
I didn’t realize this was a sad occasion.
[The last line being a code, Lemony hangs up the phone hoping that are some volunteers in this odd town who will get his message.]