The Callus Critique
Did I use a word wrong? Should I use more big words? Am I making Lemony too happy/sad/normal?
Just leave a post here and I'll do my best to improve it.
Just leave a post here and I'll do my best to improve it.
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Post the Thirteenth: The Callous Codes
[Filtered to Icabod Crane]
I was wondering if I could speak to you about something.
[For the rest of the town you can find him sitting outside for once.....reading a book. Annoy him?]
I was wondering if I could speak to you about something.
[For the rest of the town you can find him sitting outside for once.....reading a book. Annoy him?]
Post the Twelfth: The Melodious Music
[If you are walking by the park you might find a secluded area where a man is sitting in the shade and playing the accoridan. This man would be Lemony. The music sounds something like this but he isn't singing. Just sitting there and playing away]
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Post the Eleventh: The Treacherous Trick
[If you've wondered where Lemony has been during this entire event, he's been at home in his room. Writing on the type writer he recieved. For some reason he was compelled to sit down and write a few pages every time he sees it. Since then he has a great many pages written....unfortunately when the event ends and he looks back to find what he has written.....pages upon pages, all singing the praises of one Count Olaf.
His hands shake as he stares at some of the pages..and then throws them away in disgust. Not realizing that he's knocked the phone off it's hook; he rants]
-here! Even here you taunt me!
I can see you laughing through the pages Count. Laughing at all this...at me.
Why do you torment me, even here!
[There is a wretched sob and the sound of paper tearing and a thump as Lemony slumps to the floor, his head in his hands. Piece of paper surrounding him. He was going to have to destroy them all.
There is few moment of quiet crying before he realizes that the phone is off the hook and hurredly replaces it so he may go back and weap in his solitude.]
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Post the Ninth: The Rotten Return
[He’d woken up in many strange beds before, though usually it involved him being chained to said object and the room filling up with water. However this time he soon recognized where he was..]
No. Not again.
I refuse to believe this.
This is all a dream. A horrifying, appalling, ghastly dream.
Any moment I will be woken up by water dripping on my face, or sirens, or any noise that would indicate a better situation then the one I am in now!
[After a few moments he realizes that this isn’t working]
Oh dear.
[Makes his way to the phone sadly. He'd been so close to seeing her...so close...he blinked away a few tears as he picked up the phone.]
Hello, my name is Lemony Snicket and it appears I’ve been kidnapped again. If anyone is aware of how long I have been gone for, it would be most appreciated.
[There’s a pause and he tries to think of who he meet here]
Sophie, Allan, Daine? Are any of you still here?
No. Not again.
I refuse to believe this.
This is all a dream. A horrifying, appalling, ghastly dream.
Any moment I will be woken up by water dripping on my face, or sirens, or any noise that would indicate a better situation then the one I am in now!
[After a few moments he realizes that this isn’t working]
Oh dear.
[Makes his way to the phone sadly. He'd been so close to seeing her...so close...he blinked away a few tears as he picked up the phone.]
Hello, my name is Lemony Snicket and it appears I’ve been kidnapped again. If anyone is aware of how long I have been gone for, it would be most appreciated.
[There’s a pause and he tries to think of who he meet here]
Sophie, Allan, Daine? Are any of you still here?
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Post the Eighth: The Frightful Find
[Over the years Lemony has stayed mainly the same. He however is more open to friends and has gotten closer to the few he's made here. For the most part though, he's the same mournful and quiet man he always was. However today he sounds panicked as he grabs for the phone]
Hello...hello? There's....something....something terribly dreadful seems to have happend.
There's....a body..
[A gulp]
Oh dear lord, A body is hanging from my porch....light. A body...
[There's a pause as he draws a shaky breath]
I...I just thought I should let people know...
[Yes he is emotionally rattled and yes he may be crying and yes he really hates this place]
[EDIT: The body in question belongs to Alphonse Elric. Lemony has never meet the young man so he has no idea if it's a drone or not...what with him being dead.]
Hello...hello? There's....something....something terribly dreadful seems to have happend.
There's....a body..
[A gulp]
Oh dear lord, A body is hanging from my porch....light. A body...
[There's a pause as he draws a shaky breath]
I...I just thought I should let people know...
[Yes he is emotionally rattled and yes he may be crying and yes he really hates this place]
[EDIT: The body in question belongs to Alphonse Elric. Lemony has never meet the young man so he has no idea if it's a drone or not...what with him being dead.]
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Post the Seventh: The Hurrying Holidays
[He's picked up and put down the phone a few times before actualling deciding to ask this question]
I know it is most unlikely but would anyone know a store that might sell a Menorah?
For those who are unaware, a menorah is a nine branched candelabrum that holds special significance to those of the Jewish religion.
I know it is most unlikely but would anyone know a store that might sell a Menorah?
For those who are unaware, a menorah is a nine branched candelabrum that holds special significance to those of the Jewish religion.
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Post the Sixth: The Mournful Memories
Well it appears as though the fires caused no lasting damage.
I suppose that is all for the best. Though the fact that we seem to have no fire department could be cause for concern. In normal circumstances I would most likely sugest forming a volunteer ...department of some type. However I doubt very much that would be successful here.
[There is a deep sigh, after he believes he's put the phone away]
Why did it have to be fire?...
I suppose that is all for the best. Though the fact that we seem to have no fire department could be cause for concern. In normal circumstances I would most likely sugest forming a volunteer ...department of some type. However I doubt very much that would be successful here.
[There is a deep sigh, after he believes he's put the phone away]
Why did it have to be fire?...
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Post the Fifth: The Demoralizing Droning
Oh dear, first fire, power outage and now...[He finds the phone is still working] How odd...
Does anyone in this town know a Ms.Riza Hawkeye? If you do, please contact me. I...I have something you should know.
Does anyone in this town know a Ms.Riza Hawkeye? If you do, please contact me. I...I have something you should know.
Post the Fourth: The Frightening Fires
[Is gazing down at the flames of City Hall. He HATES fire.]
What-
Where is the fire department? Don't they realize what is taking place? I...I swore I saw one....This is just terrible!
[A deep sigh as he stares still and mumers without realizing it]
The world is certainly not quiet here.
Post the Third: The Perilous Promenade
[Lemony is currently out for a walk and is carrying a notepad that he seems to be drawing in as he goes. He stops here and there writing things down along the way.
If you see him you may notice that every so often he seems to glance down at one of his ankles with an odd expression.]
If you see him you may notice that every so often he seems to glance down at one of his ankles with an odd expression.]
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Post the Second: The Jarring Job
It has recently been brought to my attention that I have been neglecting my duties at the library. This has more to do with the fact that I was not aware I had a job at all than a desire to get myself fired.
The library in this town can only be described as dismal. A word here which means, seemingly lacking in any material that would be useful to anyone. However if you need any help in attempting to find some relevant information, I would be glad to aid you with your searches.
Though I can not promise we will find anything.
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Post the First
[He’d woken up in a strange bed, a strange room and what appeared to also be a strange house. This in itself would not be considered too out of the place for someone in his line of work, if it were not for the odd pictures around the house, the feeling that something was very wrong and the fact that his hat was missing. A few minutes later he's rubbing his arm where strange men had given him a vaccination of some sort.
After a few hours exploring the strange house, his ankle, everything he could find and talking to a few people in the house, he picked up the phone.]
Hello?
It appears I am being held against my will in a strange house with strange people who seem to have even stranger taste in decorating. Not only that, I appear to have been the victim of various unwilling medical procedures that I am quite certain I did not approve of. If anyone has any advice on who is keeping me here I would be most appreciative.
[His voice goes quieter, almost murmuring to himself]
I’m afraid my research will need to be put on hold. And as for finding....
[Realizes he is still holding the phone]
Oh yes...I’m sorry,
I didn’t realize this was a sad occasion.
[The last line being a code, Lemony hangs up the phone hoping that are some volunteers in this odd town who will get his message.]
After a few hours exploring the strange house, his ankle, everything he could find and talking to a few people in the house, he picked up the phone.]
Hello?
It appears I am being held against my will in a strange house with strange people who seem to have even stranger taste in decorating. Not only that, I appear to have been the victim of various unwilling medical procedures that I am quite certain I did not approve of. If anyone has any advice on who is keeping me here I would be most appreciative.
[His voice goes quieter, almost murmuring to himself]
I’m afraid my research will need to be put on hold. And as for finding....
[Realizes he is still holding the phone]
Oh yes...I’m sorry,
I didn’t realize this was a sad occasion.
[The last line being a code, Lemony hangs up the phone hoping that are some volunteers in this odd town who will get his message.]